The 15 Types of ..........

1. GHOST POO:  You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper,  but 
none in the toilet.

2. TEFLON COATED POO:  Comes  out so slick, clean and easy that  you  don't 
feel it. No trace on the toilet paper, you have to check the toilet to make 
sure you've done it.

3. GOOEY POO:  This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe ten times  and 
still  don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your undies  so 
you don't stain them. This poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

4. POP A VEIN IN THE FOREHEAD POO:  This is the kind that killed Elvis.  It 
don't  want to come out until you're all sweaty, trebling and  purple  from 
straining so hard.

5. SECOND THOUGHT POO: You're all done wiping and you're about to stand up, 
when you realise it .... you've got some more.

6. WEIGHT WATCHERS' POO: You poo so much you lose several kilos.

7. RIGHT NOW POO:  You  better be within 30 seconds of a toilet.  You  burn 
rubber on your way there, but it's usually got its head out before you pull 
your pants down.

8. KING KONG or COMMODE CHOKER:  This one is so big you know it  won't  fit 
down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks (a wire coat hanger 
works well here!). This kind usually occurs at someone else's house.

9. CORK POO: (also known as floaters). Even after three flushes, it's still 
floating around in the bowl. My God, how do I get rid of it?????

10. WET  CHEEKS POO: This hits the water sideways and makes a  splash  that 
gets you all wet.

11. WISH POO: You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times ... but  no 
poo.

12. CEMENT BLOCK POO: (with extra blue metal). You wish you'd got a  spinal 
block before you'd gone to the toilet.

13. SNAKEY POO:  fairly  soft and about as thick as your  thumb,  but  it's 
three feet long.

14. BEER AND MEAT PIE POO: This happens the day after the night before. Now 
normally  your poo doesn't smell that bad, but this one is BAD!!! ...  This 
one  usually  happens  at someone else's house  too,  but  especially  when 
there's someone waiting to use the loo after you.

15. MEXICAN POO:  (also called Screamers). You know it's safe to eat  again 
when your bum stops burning.